Healing the Pain
Body
1. How Our Pain, Fear and Defensiveness
Surfaces
The “Law Of Attraction”
As pointed out by Michael Losier and Esther Hicks, both teachers of, “The
Law Of Attraction,” we attract what we vibrate at the level of our emotional
bodies, not necessarily what we think or want. Although our thoughts have
energy, the strongest energy vibration of our emotional body, whether
it is of pain, fear or love, will always manifest. The “Law of Attraction”
responds only to our energy vibration and is unable to distinguish between what
we want or don’t want. When we cry out painfully, “I can’t stand this
abuse,” we vibrate, the pain and fear of abuse and receive just that, more
pain, fear and abuse. Whenever we attack or resist any experience, this
same principle or law operates to strengthen and bring to us more of that same
experience. Unfortunately, our pain and fear-based cries for what we don’t want
are often stronger than what we do want, until the pain and fear within us is
brought to the surface, experienced fully and released. The process and
practice of this healing is what I hope to accomplish here.
This means
that as long as we have repressed pain and fear vibrating within us, we will
attract situations and relationships of like vibration that will bring this
pain or fear into our experience and conscious awareness. For example, if
we house a strong fear of abandonment, we will draw a relationship into our
experience where we will be abandoned. If we have an obsessive fear of
losing our home, we will draw to ourselves a situation where we will lose our
home. Everything in this world is built and destroyed through the vibration of
our wishes and fears. Our Soul Self, operating with or through these
inner vibrations, seems to know unerringly and draws to us,
when we are ready, the relationships and situations that can best serve our
need to heal our pain and fear and return us to the peace of our Spiritual
Home. To assist in this process, our intimate relationships become
important mirrors and triggers that bring to the surface the pain and fear we
project from within us that need to be healed. In all these situations,
it is very difficult to appreciate or accept that the pain and fear we
experience has been called forth from within us through our vibrations.
It is equally difficult for us to appreciate or use these opportunities for the
healing gifts that they provide us. “All things are gently planned
by One, (Soul Self) whose only purpose is our good.” (ACIM,
L135)
Like it or
not, the world we see and experience is a reflection of our own consciousness,
a consciousness we vibrate and project onto the screen of our relationships and
the situations we encounter here, much like a movie is projected onto a
screen. As such, it becomes an opportunity to heal any part of our
consciousness, not of love, (the pain & fear) that is being reflected
back to us from the mirror of these relationships and experiences in the
world. It is as impossible to see and heal our consciousness
without some kind of reflection, as it is to comb our hair properly without a
mirror. This is why we can never heal alone. This healing is accomplished
through learning and applying the process of “Authentic Forgiveness.” “Seek not
to change the world, but to change your mind about the world, and the world
will then change.” (ACIM)
2. OUR REFLEX REACTION TO THIS EXPERIENCE
3. Gaining Readiness
There will
come a time of readiness through suffering where we will turn
and face our pain and fear without defense. Through this trembling
and courageous act, we find our freedom and inner Peace. Before we can
begin to practice “authentic forgiveness,” we need to learn better ways to handle the
emotional pain and fear that arises within our consciousness, projected onto
and played out through the dramas of our relationships and life experiences.
Remember, until we give up our resistance and defensive reaction to
the pain and fear we encounter within this dream of separation, it will remain
unhealed within us and strengthen. Until we allow ourselves to fully
experience our pain and fear and find out, it does not destroy us and
that it “can have no power over us,” (JG) we will be unable to
release it and practice “Authentic Forgiveness.” The steps for healing or
releasing our pain and fear and practicing “Authentic Forgiveness” are
relatively straightforward and simple. The difficulty arises in
developing the awareness of our defenses or destructive reaction at
the time and the courage and willingness to give up our reflex, well
learned, defensive resistance, attack or retreat. This means becoming defenseless at
a time when our well-trained ego response is to defend, attack or retreat while
holding in repressed anger. “In my defenseless my safety lies.” (ACIM.W.
L.153)
4. Gaining Skills To Experience Pain And
Fear
Begin to pay
attention to your inner physical body, especially in the area of your stomach,
chest and abdomen in an ongoing way. Emotional pain and fear
are always felt in the body, usually in these areas. At the same time, and when you go to
sleep at night as well, begin to train yourself to relax on your out breath;
let go and practice breathing abdominally, more slowly and fully. Place
your hands on your abdomen and feel them rise and fall as you breathe in and
out. Let go and let yourself sink downward and deeper with every out
breath. This is called grounding and it will reduce the fear you
experience because it places you fully in the present where all healing energy
is.Then, as soon as you begin to feel any kind of pain, fear, upset, or tension
within your mind or body, begin to practice this more relaxed and full
abdominal breathing. Be sure you let go and sink deeper and deeper on every out
breath, into the area of your body where you are experiencing your pain and
fear. Learning to breathe abdominally in a relaxed and full way under
stress, will take almost a year to learn, but it is a sure gateway to reducing
the amount of pain fear and panic you experience. It will also allow you
to achieve “authentic forgiveness” more quickly. It is very important that
you give into the pain and fear you experience, without
resistance. Whatever you resist will always persist and strengthen. Letting
go physically into the pain and fear you experience, on every out breath, is
the way you accomplish this very difficult task and lessen the pain and fear
you feel.
The willingness
to experience your fear and pain and suffer through them more fully, will
release the unconscious, catastrophic fear you hold that feeling this pain and
fear will somehow destroy or hurt you beyond repair. Free from this
“false fear factor,” You can then face them with less panic, resistance and
defensiveness the next time they arise. This also allows you some time to
think and decide how you want to deal more constructively with every fear-based
situation you encounter.
5. Preparation
“You do not know the
meaning of anything you perceive, not one thought you hold is wholly
true. The recognition of this is your firm beginning.” (ACIM.T.C.11.VIII.3)
1.
Although from your ego’s perspective, when the pain and fear within you becomes
activated, it will seem like you are being attacked from without and need to
defend or attack back, you must begin to appreciate at a very deep
level that this is a triggered reflection of the pain and fear within
you that cries out to be healed. You must also understand
and accept that what your ego perceives at this moment is not real,
is not the truth. You are facing a “mirage in the desert.”
(JG) There is no need to respond in any way. Also, be very clear
that if you attack or defend, you will strengthen this pain and fear
within you, the hold it has over you, and lose any chance to release or heal
it. By keeping these ideas in mind at all times, you
will have the understanding, motivation and determination necessary to set
aside your reflex defenses and deal with your activated “pain body” in a more
constructive way. Just “accept what is,” (ET) without
resistance.
2. Your
pain and fear will be activated as much by your past and future
fear-based thoughts as by current situations and relationship
issues. Use the same strategy for dealing with all cases when they
arise. All are misperceptions of your fear-based ego.
3.
Anger is always a defensive strategy used to cover up fear, control and protect
you in situations where you are feeling vulnerable, not in control and
threatened. Remember also that anger is always a “cry for love.” This
will make it less threatening for you to deal with when it arises in yourself
and others. When we are feeling anger, it becomes necessary to release it
and get beneath it in some constructive way. Through this awareness and
acceptance, you will be able to discover feelings like helplessness, sadness,
despair, loss, etc, beneath your anger. These are the emotions that need
to be experienced and healed. Remember, anger is an ego defense, not an
emotion. Try releasing it constructively by screaming into a pillow or
taking a tennis racket to a mattress or going for a long walk or
run. Remember that your anger is just the projected cover-up for
your own fear and pain, being reflected back to you for your
healing.
Steps In
Releasing Pain And Fear
If you are
feeling anger and blame, identify and express the anger, blame
and judgment long enough to find the pain or fear that lies beneath,
feelings like sadness, worthlessness, emptiness, oneness, loss, and
separation. To achieve this, imagine the person who upset you in an empty
chair and express out loud, “I’m hurt and angry that
you …… When you did this, I felt…!
Keep
breathing fully in and out without pause, relaxing and giving into the fear and
pain on every out breath. In this way, relax, breathe and surrender into and
through any painful feeling as deeply as you can.
Experience this pain and fear in your physical body letting go into it as fully
as you can on each out breath. Remember, you will usually find the pain and
fear located somewhere in your stomach, abdomen, or heart area. If you
can, allow yourself to release this pain and fear through tears. The relief
will come sooner and the peace you gain as a result will be great. A
steady, full, breath of relaxed surrender must flow continually beneath the
process of all these steps. There must be a determined willingness and
ability to let go and relax into any fear-based tension on every out
breath, without resistance or defense.
“Whatever
is given to the Holy (Healing) Spirit that is not of God is gone. Yet you must
look at it (first) in perfect willingness (without resistance) for otherwise
his
Summary:
Keeping this quote in mind,
respond to any fear or pain by breathing and relaxing into it fully on every
out breath, without defense or resistance. While you continue to let go
fully into the physical experience of your pain and fear and hold
it in your consciousness, begin to address it with these words:
“You are an
effect projected and caused by my own consciousness like a dream, an appearance only, not real,
with no power over me. (JG) Healing
Spirit, I give this appearance of pain and fear to You to dissolve into the
nothingness from which it was born.”
Then, let it go, for it is gone! With much practice, your ego’s fear-based
hold over your mind will dissolve and the peace of your Eternal Self will
awaken fully. To your ego mind this "denial of perception," will appear to make no sense and be insane. If, however, you begin to practice this form of denial and forgiveness you will come to see through your own personal experience its value and truth. I urge you therefore not to turn away in stubborn disbelief without a willingness to practice my suggestions.
What We Achieve Through This Process
The rewards
we achieve through this process are monumental. By experiencing the pain
and fear of our emotional body and surviving, we eliminate the catastrophic
fear we hold concerning its unknown depths that somehow by experiencing this
part of us, we will be swept away and permanently hurt or even destroyed. Much
of the fear and pain we have experience around our emotions and “pain body,”
has come from this catastrophic “fear of the unknown.” Without this fear,
we travel through the world with far less defensive armament, much lighter and
brighter. Giving up our resistance to feeling our pain and fear reduces
chronic muscle tension (armor) and this releases trapped healing energy.
This will further dissolve the pain and fear within us that feeds on our
resistance and fear of survival. “What we resist persists and
strengthens.” With the continued practice of feeling and accepting our
emotions we will dissolve all fear around them. Then we can deal with them as a
natural and non-threatening part of our human experience. This is what gives us
the readiness to begin the ongoing practice
of “Authentic Forgiveness” when any
pain or fear surfaces within us. This means to accept without
judgment, re action, or resistance and overlook with compassion anything not of
Love (fear-based) within our consciousness reflected
or activated in our dream of separation here. Through this ongoing denial of our
ego dreams, and misperceptions of pain and fear, we slowly awaken to the Peace,
Power, Joy, and Love WITHIN US that
is our Real Self, our SPIRITUAL IDENTITY.
5. Preparation
David
Ott, M.Ed., Nov. 2014
JG: Joel Goldsmith, “The Infinite Way.”
ET: Eckhart Tolle, “The Power Of Now”
